Phases of Life

It seems that throughout our marriage we have gone through many different phases.

Before kids, we ALWAYS grocery shopped together, went to the temple twice a month & were ALWAYS  together. Christmas was a chance to spoil each other & taking trips was easy. We had 4 glorious years of that.

When we started having children things began to change. Groceries were done by me & the kids, going to the temple went from once a month when we had one child to once every 3 months after having 3 kids. Christmas was about our kids & trips had to be planned out.

My days consisted of naps & doing everything under the sun to keep the kids busy & me sane. Like every other overwhelmed mother, I had many days where I just sat & cried, feeling hopeless. 

I looked forward to having a date night or a girl’s night out. I started taking trips by myself every other year, to get away from the chaos. Trips without the kids were a necessity. I loved it  when Culligula would surprise me with a trip to the spa or to the mall by myself.  I felt like I was in constant escape mode. Whether it was going out, watching TV or napping. I was constantly looking for a break.

The last couple of months Culligula  & I have noticed that we are  now entering into a different phase. A phase that I’m still trying to understand & wrap my head around.

This summer it is once again my turn to take a trip by myself but instead I have chosen to share it with my family. I’m also going to Vegas with my sisters in February & all  I can think about is how quickly I can get home to my family. I’ve lost interest in shopping trips to the mall by myself. In fact, I want my kids to go grocery shopping with me. Basically, it is very rare that I want to do anything without my kids or husband.

This weekend is a perfect example of how we prefer to spend our time these days. On Saturday, we went to the Car Show & then out to dinner. Today, Culligula offered to watch the kids so I could go to the mall by myself. After a family vote, everyone decided we would all go & they would just hang out at the Planetarium until I was done. We then went out to dinner & just talked. Those are the moments that we both value above anything else.

Now don’t get me wrong, my family isn’t perfect. My boys fight & cry at least 8 times a day. They don’t put things away & they pee on the toilet. They don’t always listen when they’re asked to do something & getting them together to read scriptures every night well, let’s just say I’d rather poke my eyes out.

For right now, we are  really enjoying this phase of life. Sleeping in on weekends, playing games with the kids that I actually like, staying out late with the kids &  vacations without play pens & formula.  We are realizing that this time is precious & it won’t last forever. We don’t want to look back & wish that we would have done it differently.  Therefore, we are choosing to make the most of  it. One day, they will have their own things going on & I can return to the mall by myself & grocery shopping with Culligula .