Phases of Life

It seems that throughout our marriage we have gone through many different phases.

Before kids, we ALWAYS grocery shopped together, went to the temple twice a month & were ALWAYS  together. Christmas was a chance to spoil each other & taking trips was easy. We had 4 glorious years of that.

When we started having children things began to change. Groceries were done by me & the kids, going to the temple went from once a month when we had one child to once every 3 months after having 3 kids. Christmas was about our kids & trips had to be planned out.

My days consisted of naps & doing everything under the sun to keep the kids busy & me sane. Like every other overwhelmed mother, I had many days where I just sat & cried, feeling hopeless. 

I looked forward to having a date night or a girl’s night out. I started taking trips by myself every other year, to get away from the chaos. Trips without the kids were a necessity. I loved it  when Culligula would surprise me with a trip to the spa or to the mall by myself.  I felt like I was in constant escape mode. Whether it was going out, watching TV or napping. I was constantly looking for a break.

The last couple of months Culligula  & I have noticed that we are  now entering into a different phase. A phase that I’m still trying to understand & wrap my head around.

This summer it is once again my turn to take a trip by myself but instead I have chosen to share it with my family. I’m also going to Vegas with my sisters in February & all  I can think about is how quickly I can get home to my family. I’ve lost interest in shopping trips to the mall by myself. In fact, I want my kids to go grocery shopping with me. Basically, it is very rare that I want to do anything without my kids or husband.

This weekend is a perfect example of how we prefer to spend our time these days. On Saturday, we went to the Car Show & then out to dinner. Today, Culligula offered to watch the kids so I could go to the mall by myself. After a family vote, everyone decided we would all go & they would just hang out at the Planetarium until I was done. We then went out to dinner & just talked. Those are the moments that we both value above anything else.

Now don’t get me wrong, my family isn’t perfect. My boys fight & cry at least 8 times a day. They don’t put things away & they pee on the toilet. They don’t always listen when they’re asked to do something & getting them together to read scriptures every night well, let’s just say I’d rather poke my eyes out.

For right now, we are  really enjoying this phase of life. Sleeping in on weekends, playing games with the kids that I actually like, staying out late with the kids &  vacations without play pens & formula.  We are realizing that this time is precious & it won’t last forever. We don’t want to look back & wish that we would have done it differently.  Therefore, we are choosing to make the most of  it. One day, they will have their own things going on & I can return to the mall by myself & grocery shopping with Culligula .

What's Your Mark?

Today I attended the funeral of Culligula's dear grandma. I haven't attended a funeral in about 20 years & I must say it was a real eye opening experience. As I sat there listening to all the beautiful talks on this lovely lady's life, I couldn't help but wonder what my mark in the world would be.

Am I living everyday to the fullest or am I sweatin' the small stuff? Am I present in my everyday life or am I caught up in the 2,000 thoughts in my head? We always hear how precious life is & how we should live everyday to the fullest but do we? Or do we live day to day, just getting by?

What impact have I made, if any? I'm not sure. What I know is that I get to live. I get to breathe, I get to have all the joy & happiness I can possibly handle. I am filled with gratitude for the Savior & the plan of salvation. I rejoice in the knowledge that I will spend the eternities with my loved ones. But mostly I am at peace with life & myself.

I love those moments in life that make me stop & look at the world around me. I get to realize that I am so much bigger than my circumstances & when life gets difficult, I get to acknowledge myself & say, "It's okay, I'm okay".

Before I go, thank you to all those of you who assisted me in taking my kids today. Thank you, thank you.

3 Types of Business

A dear friend once shared this with me & I felt the need to pass it on.
There are 3 types of business in this world.

God's business

Your business

My business

God's business is the things we cannot control. For example, the weather, death, etc. Your business is also something I cannot control.
Then there is my business. My business is the only thing I have control over. When I am in my business, I am strong, confident, loving, amazing, passionate.
When I step into your business all that goes away. I question & doubt myself. I wonder why I can't be more like you. I become insecure, weak, jealous, all the things I know I am not.
In my business I am happy, safe & secure. It's a good place to be.