Phases of Life

It seems that throughout our marriage we have gone through many different phases.

Before kids, we ALWAYS grocery shopped together, went to the temple twice a month & were ALWAYS  together. Christmas was a chance to spoil each other & taking trips was easy. We had 4 glorious years of that.

When we started having children things began to change. Groceries were done by me & the kids, going to the temple went from once a month when we had one child to once every 3 months after having 3 kids. Christmas was about our kids & trips had to be planned out.

My days consisted of naps & doing everything under the sun to keep the kids busy & me sane. Like every other overwhelmed mother, I had many days where I just sat & cried, feeling hopeless. 

I looked forward to having a date night or a girl’s night out. I started taking trips by myself every other year, to get away from the chaos. Trips without the kids were a necessity. I loved it  when Culligula would surprise me with a trip to the spa or to the mall by myself.  I felt like I was in constant escape mode. Whether it was going out, watching TV or napping. I was constantly looking for a break.

The last couple of months Culligula  & I have noticed that we are  now entering into a different phase. A phase that I’m still trying to understand & wrap my head around.

This summer it is once again my turn to take a trip by myself but instead I have chosen to share it with my family. I’m also going to Vegas with my sisters in February & all  I can think about is how quickly I can get home to my family. I’ve lost interest in shopping trips to the mall by myself. In fact, I want my kids to go grocery shopping with me. Basically, it is very rare that I want to do anything without my kids or husband.

This weekend is a perfect example of how we prefer to spend our time these days. On Saturday, we went to the Car Show & then out to dinner. Today, Culligula offered to watch the kids so I could go to the mall by myself. After a family vote, everyone decided we would all go & they would just hang out at the Planetarium until I was done. We then went out to dinner & just talked. Those are the moments that we both value above anything else.

Now don’t get me wrong, my family isn’t perfect. My boys fight & cry at least 8 times a day. They don’t put things away & they pee on the toilet. They don’t always listen when they’re asked to do something & getting them together to read scriptures every night well, let’s just say I’d rather poke my eyes out.

For right now, we are  really enjoying this phase of life. Sleeping in on weekends, playing games with the kids that I actually like, staying out late with the kids &  vacations without play pens & formula.  We are realizing that this time is precious & it won’t last forever. We don’t want to look back & wish that we would have done it differently.  Therefore, we are choosing to make the most of  it. One day, they will have their own things going on & I can return to the mall by myself & grocery shopping with Culligula .

Simple Pleasures

Ritz crackers & peanut butter. Yumm!

My Teacher Blames the Government.

When I was in H.S. my insane Physics teacher claimed that the government was slowly shaving seconds off of minutes & one day it wouldn’t really be 365 days a year. I think he might be on to something. Lately I’ve been thinking about how fast time is going by & just how big my boys are getting. Sometimes I wish I could just stop time. I see it running in front of me & I keep trying to physically hold it in my arms.

JaJa,

My sweet 1st born. It seems like just yesterday that I thought that there was a possibility that I would never have children & the sadness that I always felt because of it. Now I look back & I can’t even remember that pain. I see you with your friends or sitting around listening to your MP3 player or talking to me about girls (yikes!) & I’m in awe of you. When did this happen? When did you grow up? But then I catch glimpses of my little boy when you run up & hug & kiss me or when you ask for a coo-kie. Or when you make sure your hair is styled just right, before school, as you drink your milk out of a sippie cup. I’m grateful that I have you & that you have been blessed with wonderful gifts & abilities. I’m thankful that you chose to get baptized this year & that you have chosen such a wonderful group of friends. I am extremely proud of you.

Combi or Corn Beef as I call you these days,

I will always remember your 1st day in Primary & how you sat in class with your head hung low because you were embarrassed to talk. My heart broke that day. 2 years of Speech Therapy & now your Kindergarten teacher complains that you sometimes talk too much. It’s definitely bitter-sweet. I can’t believe how smart & amazing you are! Are you even aware of your skills? The fact that you can read at a 3rd grade level & do math at a 2nd grade level amazes me! Especially since you didn’t really start speaking until you were 3 1/2 almost 4. You are filled with so much confidence & you are so sure of what you want. Your smile makes my day especially when it is followed with a “can I, my best buddy?” I’m so grateful for the love & compassion that you have for others. I’m grateful for your desire to make others happy. You are truly amazing my best buddy.

K.B.

I remember making a mental note of every milestone because I knew you would be my last. In fact, all this came about because of you. When you turned 4 this year, I realized that that was how old Ja-Ja was when you were born. I had 3 little ones under the age of 4. Yikes! I look at you & think that there is no way I could do that now. It’s been fun to have you as a preschool student but I especially love the days we spend together alone while your brothers are in school. Those are my favorite! You make such a good little shopping partner! I love holding you because you somehow mold into me. I always tell you that you are like a little creature. You have so much physical ability. You are destined to be a star on any field. I can’t believe the flips you are able to do! You are growing up so fast but I guess you have to so that you can keep with your brothers! Maybe that’s why I like being alone with you because you are my little boy again. I’m so grateful for your funniness that cracks us all up. I’m also grateful for your amazing observations that always make me think, “what did he just say?” (this week you asked, “mom, how do you make a ch? cause there’s no letter that makes that sound.) You always say things like that!

This has been a great year & we have been able to create so many memories! We have been on some fun trips & we were able to experience many new things.

Thank you Heavenly Father for blessing me & giving me such an amazing family. Thank you for the reminder of time. These years go fast & I’m glad I enjoyed those years when you were little & at home with me.

I’m so grateful that you get to be children & that you get to do child-like things. That you have no real worries or fears. That you can go to bed & feel safe & protected. That you know EVERYDAY how much you are truly loved by us & your Heavenly Father.

Oh my little boys, please don’t grow.

I'’ll eat you up, I love you so.